When Closure Is Delayed But Not Denied: Reinventing Life in Your 40s After an Unfinished Chapter

Introduction: A Midlife Awakening

Have you ever looked back at a moment in your life that never got the closure it deserved? Maybe it was a job you left too soon, a relationship that ended without answers, or a dream you put on pause because life got in the way. For me, that moment was in 2004 when I dropped out of college with just three classes left. I attended the graduation ceremony, but I never received my degree. No grand explanation. Just youth, confusion, and a lack of guidance.

Fast forward to today—I'm in my 40s, a mom raising children, a full-time professional, a graduate student, and a leader. I now understand that while closure didn’t come wrapped in a bow back then, it’s something I can still claim now, on my terms.

If you're a woman in midlife, juggling responsibilities and still carrying unfinished chapters, I want you to know something: You are not too late. This is your time to J.U.M.P.—to embark on the Journey of the Underdog Making Progress.

In this blog, I’m sharing my personal story, some hard-earned truths, and the research-backed strategies that can help you overcome your blockers and finally pursue the life you’ve been dreaming of.

The Unfinished Chapter: Walking But Not Finishing

In 2004, I did something that confuses many people when they hear it—I walked at my college graduation, but I didn’t finish my degree. I had just three classes left. That’s it. There was no major catastrophe. No financial emergency. Just me, 20-something, overwhelmed, directionless, and lacking mentorship. I didn’t go back. And that non-decision became a quiet weight I carried for years.

At the time, I told myself I’d eventually finish. But years passed, and life moved on. I worked jobs, fell in love, became a mother, and built a career in mental health and human services that I deeply enjoyed. And still, that unfinished degree haunted me—not because of the paper itself, but because I had allowed myself to let go of something that mattered.

That decision—like many we make in our youth—felt small at the time. But it snowballed. There were moments when I wondered if I had missed out on opportunities or taken a longer route than necessary. I’ll never know for sure. What I do know is this: the past does not disqualify us from our future. We do.

The Psychology of Unfinished Business and Blockers

Unfinished business leaves emotional residue. According to a 2020 article published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, people who experience unresolved life goals often suffer from lingering emotional distress, including shame, anxiety, and regret (Wrosch et al., 2020). These feelings can become blockers, creating internal resistance when we try to move forward.

For midlife women—especially those balancing careers, caregiving, and identity shifts—the pressure can feel paralyzing. Society tells us our time has passed, that our window of reinvention is closed. But research proves otherwise.

A 2018 Pew Research Center study found that women aged 40-54 are the fastest-growing group of adult learners returning to school and transitioning into new careers. Another 2022 study in Educational Gerontology showed that women in midlife who return to school report higher levels of life satisfaction and self-efficacy compared to their peers who do not pursue further education (Williams & Barrow, 2022).

Yet, even with this data, fear persists. Because what we often need isn’t more information—it’s permission.

Permission to Reinvent: Letting Go of Shame

When I finally decided to return to school over a decade later, I didn’t do it to prove anything to anyone. I did it because that younger version of me deserved to be honored. And because the version of me today—older, wiser, and more grounded—deserves to live without regret.

It’s easy to get stuck in what I call “identity loops”—the repeating thoughts that say: “I’m too old.”I missed my chance.”It’s too late to start over.”

But let’s be honest—how many times have you put everyone else before you? Your kids, your job, your partner, your community? Isn’t it time you took one bold step for yourself?

Reinvention doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It just requires movement. Progress. A willingness to J.U.M.P.

The J.U.M.P. Method: Journey of the Underdog Making Progress

The J.U.M.P. philosophy came to me through my own healing and growth journey. It’s a reminder that progress is power, even when you feel behind.

Here’s how it breaks down:

J – Journey

Honor the journey. Your path may not be straight, but it’s yours. Every twist holds a lesson.

U – Underdog

You may feel like you’re starting from behind. Good. Underdogs have grit, perspective, and resilience.

M – Making

You’re not waiting—you’re making it happen. One step at a time.

P – Progress

Perfection is not required. Only progress. Keep moving forward—even if it’s just one jump at a time.

What Closure Looks Like Now

I used to think closure was something that had to come neatly packaged with answers and resolution. I thought it meant returning to 2004 and “fixing” the moment I dropped out. However, I’ve learned that closure doesn’t always come from going back—it comes from moving forward with intention.

Today, I am a graduate student pursuing my Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling. I’m also a mother, a speaker, and an author. I'm living out the very vision I once thought I missed. I’m not just rewriting my story—I’m owning it.

The ending I needed didn’t come in 2004. But it’s being written now—with purpose, with power, and with peace.

From Regret to Reinvention: How You Can Begin Today

You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment. You create the moment. Here are 5 steps to help you start:

1. Acknowledge the Blockers

Whether it's fear, guilt, or self-doubt—name it. You can’t heal what you won’t face.

2. Revisit the Unfinished Business

Is there something you left behind—school, a career, a passion? It’s not too late. Re-engage with it.

3. Redefine Closure

What would it look like to give yourself closure, not by fixing the past but by honoring the present?

4. Commit to One Small Action

5. Surround Yourself with a Supportive Community

You don’t have to do this alone. Find people who believe in your vision, especially when you forget.

Conclusion: You Are the Author of Your Next Chapter

If you’re a woman in your 40s raising children and working full-time, I see you. I am you. The world has tried to tell us that our dreams expire when we become caretakers or cross a certain age. But the truth is: your next chapter is waiting for you to turn the page.

Let go of the shame. Embrace the journey. And give yourself permission to J.U.M.P.—not just into fitness, or education, or business—but into yourself.

Call to Action

If this story resonated with you, I invite you to take the next step in your journey. My book, Jumping the Rope: Move Yourself and Manifest Your Success, shares the proven strategies I used to redesign my life and create the dream I once thought I had missed. It's time to go from stuck to unstoppable.

👉 Grab your copy here: http://bit.ly/jumpimgtherope You’ll find inspiration, tools, and permission to build the purpose-filled life you’ve been dreaming of.

It’s never too late to J.U.M.P.

References

Wrosch, C., Scheier, M. F., & Miller, G. E. (2020). Goal adjustment capacities and quality of life in women with breast cancer: The mediating role of emotional distress. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 67(4), 485–496. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000413

Williams, T. S., & Barrow, K. M. (2022). Adult learners returning to higher education: Motivations, barriers, and the value of personal growth. Educational Gerontology, 48(2), 97–110. https://doi.org/10.1080/03601277.2022.1987230

Jumping The Rope- Move Your Body And Manifest Your Success (hard cover)

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